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psychology

Lemme just read that again

“This is an original and unusual work whose purpose is to make madness” That’s what I read on the dust jacket flap for THE DIVIDED SELF, R.D. Laing’s first published examination of ‘ontological insecurity’ — the sense for some people that they’re losing themselves, becoming lost in the world. For …

Is it me?

One of my favourite psych ‘disorders’ is narcissism. This may have something to do with my Psych degree, or it may have something to do with meeting so many narcissists. Or it might just be all about me. See, that’s the irony of narcissism: a little can be quite healthy, …

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"The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering."
-Carl Jung
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So let's complement that with:

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
-- Winston Churchill

and:

"The best way out is always through."
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I think the next thing I said to him was, 'Good night.'

And let me re-iterate: he worked in advertising, Sonata natural. Taking Sonata, One of those vocations renowned for originality. So his point about my unwillingness to come up with an original opinion on movies as yet unreleased in my city was completely justified, Sonata brand name. Sonata For Sale, Or, wait, no, I think he was just a complete tosser. Sonata australia, uk, us, usa, Yeah, yeah, Sonata forum, Sonata street price, that could be it.

As to that self-indulgence thing that's all over everywhere online, purchase Sonata for sale, Buy Sonata from canada, love nihilistic_kid's comment today:

I just thought this was an amusing addition to the conversation, since the self-indulgent/non-self-indulgent fight seems to be boiling down to another round of Artists vs, Sonata images. Sonata dose, Hacks, again, Sonata alternatives, Sonata wiki, sans any evidence of what actually motivates people to write. Of course those artists just love their own selves (ooh, Sonata from canadian pharmacy, Sonata from canada, smoochie smoochie, mirror man!) and of course the hacks just want to stick to formulae and do well by their readers (it's in the contract!), Sonata for sale, Buy Sonata without a prescription, goes the conversation so far. But the first person I met who actually gets to discuss motivations and meanings with dozens of authors per year pegged two uberhacks as the most self-indulgent of writers straight off, Sonata For Sale.
So nyah nyah on everybody.

I don't actually mean to get into the self-indulgence debate, low dose Sonata. Sonata mg, It's just that I find everyone else's reactions so entertaining. Plus, clearly, tonight I have no original opinions on anything.

What I'm wondering, though, is how to gauge motivation &, once gauged, how to critically assess it. Sonata For Sale, I'm wondering this because it seems to me that motivation is, in fact, important. Because I think it seeps into a work & therefore into a reader. In my mind, now, motivation has become twisted around with intention. 'What is the author's intention' goes the popular highschool English lesson. As a student, I used to want to argue that it didn't matter what the intention was, what mattered was what I took away from the text (I was post modern before I was even post modern. Does that make me pre-post modern?), Sonata For Sale. But now I think intention is understated. Overlooked, even.

What, indeed, *is* the intention of the author, any author. What assurances, what subliminals, what attempts to get into the psyches of readers exist out there. Sonata For Sale, What amount of trust should we give, & what hold in reserve. What imbalances are we contributing to the collective consciousness (thanks, Jung) if such exists. *Can* we contribute to the collective consciousness, or are we just passive recipients. Why did I not bother to check my facts before I started this post.

What numbers of people are wanting to ask me to defend my blithe comment that motivation is important -- given that I have bothered with no evidence whatsoever. ;).

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doctor_k_ poses an eternally interesting series of questions:

Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, So : are you religious/irreligious. What role does it play in your life. What are the central tenets of your beliefs/ lack of beliefs. How do you reconcile the bits of your religion that don't fit. If you have changed your religion - why?

Religion is a mild fascination for me, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. I will likely go on about it at great length.

History first: I am a failed catholic.

I like the phrase 'failed catholic'. Medazepam australia, uk, us, usa, I use it on purpose. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, I don't say 'lapsed catholic', because that implies that somewhere along the line I simply forgot to be catholic in some way. Neither do I say 'ex-catholic', because that stops short of recognising the effort I made. I tried to be catholic, and failed, cheap Medazepam.

As a consequence of my failure -- or perhaps, instead, my failure was a consequence of this -- I have a gap where instinct tells me religion should fit. Where can i order Medazepam without prescription, Or maybe not religion. Maybe belief, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. I have a gap in my beliefs that hasn't been completely filled. It is an easy thing to live with, though. It keeps me active, taking Medazepam, and curious, and searching.

Which is, Doses Medazepam work, as an aside, apparently the ideal mindset for prospective cult adherents. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, Consequently, I stay away from cults and other undue influences. I avoid uttering phrases like, 'Oh, that would never happen to me, discount Medazepam, I'm sure I could outwit any freaky cult leader type.' People like me have thought that before. I am not over-confident. I have seen what religion can do to a mind. Order Medazepam no prescription, I am, after all -- returning to my original point -- someone who once was catholic.

What role *did* catholicism (yes, I am aware I am not using a capital letter) play in my life, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. Family influences were not strong. Or, rather, where can i cheapest Medazepam online, the strong catholics in the family were a step or so removed from my immediate sphere growing up. I didn't go to a catholic school, but I did go to a school with a preponderance of catholics. Cheap Medazepam no rx, In first grade, at the age of five, I was taught to make the 'sign of the cross' & told that bad children went to hell. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, Also, ignorant children went to hell. Children who died before learning the sign of the cross, for example, no prescription Medazepam online. This readily instilled in me a fear of that razor's edge of chance and circumstance that lead me there to that moment, Day 1, of Salvation. Effects of Medazepam, What luck that I had made it that far, eh. But no, it wasn't luck. It was -- or so I was informed -- God's will, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. Just like it must have been God's will to abandon all those 'children in africa' (ie, Medazepam recreational. non-catholics).

Which never made sense to me, even then, Real brand Medazepam online, but I was a good child, & quiet, & anyway, the sheer chaos of God's will was what made Him so frightening. I became, herbal Medazepam, indeed, God-fearing. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, We were taught about the the day of reckoning & I remember S., age 5, saying, 'The day of reckoning could be today. Or tomorrow. Buy no prescription Medazepam online, That's why I always say my prayers for everyone every night and I try not to forget anyone. In case everything's over before I get another chance!'

I tried to say a prayer for everyone I knew, not leaving anyone out, but my mind was prone to drifting. I worried about the people I was forgetting, order Medazepam online c.o.d. I worried about the non-catholic relatives I was praying for, particularly, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. I worried about my pets, since pets weren't allowed in Heaven.

Also, Order Medazepam online overnight delivery no prescription, secretly, I began to develop a dissatisfaction with a god that would condemn people so easily & in such numbers. Heaven seemed like a wide, empty place. But I was too young to put any of this into words, Medazepam natural. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, It was an emotion or an instinct or some kind of spiritual twinge that I was feeling, & I tried to hide it from God.

The local priest wore shorts & an unbuttoned shirt & had a dark, unshaven face. In short, Buy cheap Medazepam no rx, he was a disappointment. I wanted a priest with flowing robes, for a start. Still, most of my experience with catholocism was at school, online buy Medazepam without a prescription, so priests were an irrelevance. The real teachings came mainly from peers and parents (mostly other people's), Buy Medazepam Without Prescription.

When I moved to bigger schools interstate, I was surprised by how many religions there were. Medazepam samples, We were divided into scripture groups hosted mainly by local mothers. Again, I was unimpressed. Where were the monks, & nuns in crazy black habits like in Sound of Music, Medazepam from canadian pharmacy. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, At age 11 an angry woman with wiry black hair was my scripture leader. She declared, 'If you're not going to church, you're going to hell." She asked, Medazepam use, "What are you putting before God?'

There was something about the way she said God that made me wince. 'God', flat & spat, like a swear word. GOD, Medazepam wiki. Like 'fuck', only with more hate. I worried that I was going to hell because my parents didn't take my eternal soul seriously enough to drive me to the local church, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. Wherever that was. Medazepam mg, Mostly, I worried that my gut was beginning to curdle at the mention of GOD.

Age 14, I began to read the Bible.

I didn't like it, Medazepam description. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, Particularly, I didn't like the bit that said that a woman who lies with a man not her husband is committing adultery and shall go to Hell, even is she is divorced or widowed, and a man who lies with a woman who is not his wife, even if she is divorced or widowed, is _making that woman commit adultery_. I seem to recall I closed the Bible and didn't open it again for four years. I'm not sure why my young mind was so quick to grasp the injustice of that principle. But there you have it, Medazepam pics, I renounced catholicism and realised I was something-I-had-no-word-for-then (a feminist) in one sentence. It was the cleanest break I've ever made.

Four years later, I did try another Bible (not a catholic one, I was sure I wasn't catholic) when they were giving them out free at school, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. Nothing particularly offended me this time that I recall, but I ran headlong into that gap I mentioned; that gap where my response (love/fear/reverence?) should be. God as Father, my Medazepam experience, as determining force, as judgment, as life -- just wasn't working for me. Medazepam pictures, I was 18 and I realised that at least part of my course had been set. I still, for a time, listened politely to various passing evangelists, but I wasn't Christian anymore, Medazepam forum. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, I was like jelly that had failed to set. There was something wrong with me that answers were so difficult for me to find or, when presented to me with righteous vigour, so impossible to accept. Low dose Medazepam, It changed, of course, the feelings of 'wrongness' were replaced with feelings of right, and the desperation with answers mellowed into a fascination with process. I think now spirituality is something which is meant to evolve as we do, buy Medazepam without a prescription, & that the truest test of growing up is not in simplifying ideas, but in making them more complex, amalgamating & synthesising them, Medazepam for sale, adding coherence & depth. Or, that's how I want to do it, anyhow. But then I also prefer personal expression to organised religion of any kind, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. Another result, order Medazepam from mexican pharmacy, probably, of my earlier failure.

I still have a fascination with ritual. Medazepam brand name, In my twenties, travelling in Italy, I stepped into a marbled church and heard monks chanting in latin. Apparently I had to be nudged twice before I broke my trance. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, It really was beautiful. And in small ways, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, I think there is a lot of ritual in my days. My daily walk home is a kind of ritual. How I make a cup of tea is a ritual for me, Medazepam maximum dosage, how I arrange 'found' objects (trinkets, souvenirs, momentos) on a windowsill, how I light candles, how I watch rain, is Medazepam safe, how I dust (when I dust), how I prepare a meal.

To knit together these strange little quirks of mine, Medazepam canada, mexico, india, I use ideas from, I suppose, Paganism, Goddess Worship, some Buddhist ideas on meditation, some concepts from Psychotherapy, yoga, Wicca. I don't particularly buy into any one of these in total, but I use their vocabularies to talk about things I don't fully understand & don't otherwise have words for, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. It is difficult to say where the 'spirituality' ends & the ideas on self/life/purpose/choice/ethics begin. And maybe it doesn't matter.

Am I religious. No. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, Am I spiritual. Maybe I sort of am. Kind of. I respect spirituality. I envy it when I find it in others. I pursue it -- perhaps that's a better way to say it, Buy Medazepam Without Prescription. I pursue it. What are the central tenets of this home-made brew. Hmm. Honesty. Buy Medazepam Without Prescription, Courage. Responsibility. And a damn good attempt to do no harm.

So far, that's proving to be enough. ;)

.

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Also want to agree with the divine Ms L re. Order Renova online c.o.d, the new anonymous blog on genre fic. Its slogan is 'Vote for stories, not for friends', Renova images. Renova For Sale, It's as true in this field as in any other that there are alliances that can be made. Allegiances that may be used either to drum up promotion or conspire to keep silent, Renova price, coupon, all because of friendship or other shared attributes. Though I prize honesty, I don't necessarily support cruelty, buy generic Renova. Though I want to assist friends, Renova no prescription, I'm not comfortable with complicity or politic conspiracies. Also I know that these were the rules of the game as given to us, that we may forge strategic networks or otherwise, buy Renova from canada, that we may offer ourselves as marketable product, Renova coupon, or not. There are also a host of other positions and compromises that may be made and maintained, Renova For Sale. Each one of us makes our own decision, & all that is required is that we allow room enough for each other to find our own locations on the matrices, Renova pharmacy.

I like the idea of an anonymous blog of honest critique. Renova no rx, It's a challenge, though. I wonder how long anonymity may be maintained, Renova photos. Renova For Sale, I wonder how much honesty is too much.

Related to the above post (by marriage): Scott Westerfeld covers interesting ground with his post on perceptions of beauty. Buy Renova without a prescription, Digital TV shows up Cameron Diaz's bad skin. Shoot. Good thing I decided to stick with writing for a trade, no prescription Renova online. Remind me to turn down all those Letterman interviews, Renova For Sale.

I couldn't take that kind of pressure. Buy cheap Renova no rx, Ah, how the myth of perfection has turned into a capitalist dream. Keep us anxious, online buying Renova, keep us consuming, Online Renova without a prescription, no possible resolution to either of these entwined processes.

Renova For Sale, Beauty is an interesting topic. I like beauty, Renova street price. What I consider beautiful, Buy no prescription Renova online, however, is not necessarily what Hollywood has so far been considering beautiful. I like people who are expressive & energetic & enthusiastic & optimistic, buy Renova no prescription. I think that sort of stuff shows up in a person's face. I don't necessarily think Zellweger looks better thinner than fatter (she kinda looks unhappy all the time), I didn't think Zeta Jones was more heavenly when she squished herself into that tiny red dress at whateverawardceremonythatwas than when she was pregnant some months earlier, Renova For Sale. Renova duration, I think Streep looks more fabulous now than ever before. If I had to compile a list of the world's most beautiful people, I would put Dawn French on it -- & I would mean it, discount Renova.

But I've been aware of the ways celluloid (not cellulite, After Renova, that's an entirely different subject) has influenced us, given us what I call the 'portrait of a lady' syndrome, the idea that stasis is attractive, buy Renova online no prescription, that planes and angles are desirable because of the way they direct the light into the lens. Where can i order Renova without prescription, I could never watch Friends, because I couldn't get past how thin the women were. Renova For Sale, (Also, it just wasn't my thing.) I saw 'The Interpreter' the other week & it's a really good film, but Nicole Kidman has no thighs, no hips, no ribs, nothing, nothing, I swear. There is nothing between her chin and her knees except distance, ordering Renova online. Good thing she can act with her eyes. Renova from canada, There's not much more to her. She's thin. Very thin, Renova For Sale.

Or, Renova dosage, her knees are huge. Where can i buy Renova online, One or the other. Both, maybe, Renova blogs.

This is not a criticism of Nicole Kidman, Doses Renova work, though. Renova For Sale, Turns out you really can 'never be too rich or too thin'. I feel that desire, myself, low dose Renova, to escape corporeal reality & turn myself into a feather, Renova from mexico, a satin sheet, a canvas, a veritable page of a human being, Renova trusted pharmacy reviews, as slim as a photographic negative. Renova natural, And being that slight, that insubstantial, like air, Renova pictures, like an angel, somehow I will have escaped my biology and with that escape comes the defeat of death. I will be too ethereal to die.

It is the only explanation for how those women on film get so thin and still manage to stand upright, still smile, still have porcelain skin, still have teeth that aren't falling out of their heads. And people say, 'I'm sure there are health consequences to being that thin' -- but are there, Renova For Sale. You would think by now someone would've expired on the red carpet. But, of course, they can't. For that to happen they would have to be alive. Made of meat. Renova For Sale, But they are made of air and light.

And here's another beef I have: when people say, 'we should eat more like they did in caveman times because it was more natural for our bodies' ... was it. Really. Why. And, if it's true, why haven't our bodies evolved yet, Renova For Sale. Why did they get to caveman times (cavePEOPLE. I hear some of you cry) & then just stop. 'OK, honey, looks like we got us a cave, think I'll squat here with a physique that craves cheesecake at the same time as being wholly unable to healthily digest it, what do yer say?'

So many things make no sense to me.

Anyway, beauty. Beauty is interesting.

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'Will that be helpful?' asked the client, herbal Strattera, Strattera online cod, scratching at her left palm.
'It will *look* helpful, real brand Strattera online, Strattera pics, and who is to say that is not help enough?'

By now, you may suspect I'm oversimplifying behaviourism, Strattera samples, Order Strattera no prescription, & you're right. But that's because behaviourism is not at the heart of my point, & I couldn't be bothered checking my facts right now, Buy Strattera Without Prescription.

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I quite like this, Buy Strattera Without Prescription. It makes me happy.

Let me translate, then, Skinner's words into our modern banter.

"The real question is not whether machines think, but whether the writers of Matrix 3 had anything at all going through their heads when they etched together that ridiculous script of theirs, thereby wiping out all the love I had for their first, deadly cool movie & leaving the taint of bile in my throat."

There. Done.

Next up: Conflux2 = love.

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What if it is?

And in other ‘fun things you, too, can do’, today I updated my will. It was just an overdue thing — nothing at all to do with all the dying that’s featured in discussions lately. I stumbled across the half-completed will under an overdue water bill (which seemed particularly poignant …

Why today & not tomorrow?

“Suicides have already betrayed the body.” — Anne Sexton, Wanting to Die Today’s subject line was prompted by girliejones in our discussions on the suicide of Hunter S. Thompson. How do you pick a day to die? Not just die. How do you pick a day to inflict irrevocable violence …

Never understanding

But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why build. — Anne Sexton, Wanting to Die http://www.poets.org/poems/poems.cfm?45442B7C000C07050E70 Thankfully, I want most to know ‘why build’. Thief — how did you crawl into, crawl down alone into the death I wanted so …