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Who is this ‘they’ of which they speak?

“They say money can’t buy you happiness,” I said, “but I say hand it over! Those freaks just aren’t trying.” “Yeah,” said J., “Anyway, I’d rather be rich & unhappy than poor & unhappy any day.” “Good point!” *pause to contemplate all the things we could do with money* “They …

Sometimes I write notes to myself. This is such a note.

Discovering a cheerful ‘help yourself!’ sign in the kitchen at work, & beneath the sign a plate of fruit buns (you know, like hot cross buns, except for the fact it’s not Easter), & hearing myself inadvertently shout, “Ooooh, fruit buns!” before collecting one particularly plump, shiny bun to drop …

No, I am not over-reacting

There’s something kinda evil about ducks. The way they fix you with those knowing, beady black pips of eyes. You ever notice that? untoward‘s noticed: http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_aug5_2005.htm Follow @deborah_b

Vale Valhalla

So, I’ve only just heard about the demise of the Valhalla Cinema in Glebe, & though it’s a shame to lose that crazy old arthouse den, on the other hand I’m not surprised. Because of the smell. That place always smelled bad. And it was creepy. I felt like I …

Or just damn good fun

“But so it is, that there is a secret affinity, a hankering after evil in the human mind, and that it takes a perverse, but a fortunate delight in mischief, since it is a never-failing source of satisfaction. Pure good soon grows insipid, wants variety and spirit. Pain is a …

Just another day at the office

The players: N. = male, late fifties, delightfully full European accent. D. = me. No accent. Or age. Or… well, female. The play: N., with great aplomb & a certain amount of wincing, slowly lowers himself to one knee, clasps hold of D.’s hand and touches his forehead to her …

Why I want to be Heath Ledger

Allens Fantales: Australian chewy choc-caramel lollies with biographies of celebrities on the wrappers. They work like this: Person 1, chewing, & speaking awkwardly with a mouth full of chewy choc-caramel, reading their lolly wrapper: “So. I got Madonna. That whore. Did you know her second name was Louise? So who’d …

But first, wow

http://www.livejournal.com/users/zarq/308963.html “There’s a powerful video out from Sarah McLachlan for her song “World on Fire”. (Quicktime Embedded Video) Videos normally cost approximately $150,000 to make, excluding special effects wizardry. This one cost $15. “The money that would have been spent on her hair, makeup, production studio, etc., was instead donated …

Linkity-split

chork — v. (chork) — to make the sound shoes make with water in them. (Thanks, capnoblivious.) And BTW, I LOVE this weather. I hadn’t even noticed the absence of rain in Sydney until the news reports started blah blah blahing about water restrictions, but now that classic Sydney rain …

Today

Today had to buy a card for a friend in palliative care (ie. the care you get when there’s not a lot more care to give) & I went into the newsagency looking for something cheerful on the outside & blank on the inside. Like a lot of people I’ve …

I have no internet, but I must scream

In the re-introduced enforced absence of internet at home, I have found that my computer speaks. ‘Computer,’ I say, ‘what time is it?’ ‘It is 9.24 pm,’ says the computer in a rush. ‘Computer,’ I say, ‘tell me a joke.’ ‘Knock knock,’ says the computer instantly. ‘Computer, who’s there?’ ‘Tivoli,’ …

Never could get the hang of fucking Thursdays

I caught a bit of Today Tonight, um, this evening, & they were featuring such crucial stories as: 1. Single fathers cop too much flack. So all you people out there giving flacks to single dads — & I’m thinking there must be, oh, I dunno … several of you, …

I have seen my future. In it, I wear the same shoes.

I’m in town today with my friend K. & she points out that there’s a homeless guy ahead of us who seems to be partying on pretty fiercely. “Gee, he’s having a good time, eh?” she says, as the bum starts ranting & singing & rumaging through a bin & …

What is the inverse of Murphy’s Law?

And just like that it was over, and all the fussing & working & unhappy phone calls to the support line and the arrival of technicians & more fussing, much, much more fussing, didn’t seem to have made a speck of difference. But suddenly, after the phone calls and the …

For the Clarion South Kiddies

http://www.tuginternet.com/jja/journal/archives/002330.html “Over a noisy lunch the other day, I overheard Ellen Datlow talking about her experiences in Australia and New Zealand while she was teaching Clarion South. I only caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but I heard someone say “I heard they’re mean,” to which Gordon replied “That’s …

Shaving the yak

There’s an episode of M*A*S*H where Hawkeye wants something*, but to get it he needs a favour from someone, & when he approaches them, he’s told he’ll have to pay off a debt they have to someone else, & then that someone else wants something else, etc, etc, etc, & …

Special skills

When it comes to painting a room, turns out I have two special gifts. One is the ability to stand in paint. Even if there’s only one drop of paint on the floor, I am guaranteed to stand in it & track it all across the room & possibly the …

Update: Local Guide

So I just saw a guy wheeling a shopping trolley with an office chair in it, all the way down my street. And I’m thinking: why’s he need the trolley? The chair has wheels. Just push the chair. I’m telling you, shopping trolleys are the new mode of inner city …