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The Situation, by Jeff VanderMeer

The Situation is … (there’s a fish project and a boss who’s found in the corridor crying and a friend who’s increasingly becoming a bear).

The Situation is …. (the fish, it has the boss’s face, but that was done on purpose, part of the project to build the fish).

The Situation is … (the ceiling is a giant black manta that spies on you).

The Situation is … (the boss, she keeps asking, ‘do you love me?’, I mean, how do you answer that? Honestly? Or not?).

The Situation is … (friends aren’t friends in the office, some of them are faking it and some of them aren’t strong enough and some, some are turning into animals).

The Situation is … (the company will ask of you many strange things, and you can do these things to the best of your ability or the best of your cunning self-interest, and the outcomes of your efforts will not be met with justice. Or am I reading too much into this situation?).

The Situation is … (to quote Jeff VanderMeer, “If I just concentrated hard enough on these images, I believe I thought I could survive all of it.)

The Situation is … (as crazed, as surreal as this story is, it’s the most honest story of workplace relations I’ve read in a long time. It makes my situation look if not sane, then normal, almost predictable).

The Situation is … (you don’t have to be crazy to work here, but it helps).

The Situation is … (part of The Third Bear Carnival to celebrate Jeff VanderMeer’s short story collection, The Third Bear).

The Situation is … I accidentally ended up with two copies of Jeff Vandermeer’s marvellous new collection, THE THIRD BEAR. If you live in Australia and would like a copy, tell me your situation. Weirdest, most convincing situation wins.