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Paris in the Springtime

Paris Hilton is set to marry her boyfriend, Paris Latsis. It’s like a double latte, only with Parises. Ohmygod, that’s so beautiful. If I met a man with my name I would totally marry him. Except, wait, that would be really, like, weird.

You know how hard it was to find that link? I had to navigate all this stuff about the Paris Hilton Sex Video & the Paris Hilton Phone Book Breach & all I could think was, ‘She may be funny-looking, & have a life most people would consider highly embarrassing, but damn, does she have a lot of money. And that’s gotta count for something’.

This is my favourite bit of the news story:

“This will be the first marriage for both. Hilton was beaten to the altar last August by her younger sister, Nicky, but that union was annulled after less than three months.”

This will be the first IN AN ONGOING SERIES of marriages for both. Or did I just imagine that implication … ?